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The lack of intimate relationships, and the lack of companionship and lack of sexual intimacy that are part of those intimate relationships resulted in loneliness. All but one of the participants attributed their experiences of loneliness to celibacy. Research describes loneliness as a universal experience, although celibate Christian sexual minorities could be more at risk for loneliness since intimate partners serve as a buffer against loneliness. The next research question asked whether or not participants attributed their experiences of loneliness to their state in life as celibate, single Christians. Less common supports, although they were integral for those who reported them, included mentors, spiritual directors, ministry groups, and role-models.Īttributions about Experience of Loneliness: When it came to social influences, the primary source of this was one’s faith community. I mean I can choose any number of things that are outside of a biblical way of living and this is just one more of those that I have chosen to live without.” Others perceived celibacy as a calling or a spiritual discipline, much like fasting, or the only viable option in light of enduring experiences of same-sex attraction.
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For one female participant, “…obviously it’s a requirement for a Christian to live sexually as is prescribed in scripture which is in marriage between a man and a woman… It’s still my choice whether or not to do it. When it came to view of celibacy, most participants felt celibacy was a choice they made. And these Christian teachings say that same-sex attraction is okay but the action, using your sexual/genitals, is not the way that God intended it to be.” That is who I am, and I do not have to change anything for God to love me… And my way to love God, you know, my reaction of being loved is in loving God back, and in doing so, I would like to follow his teachings. For personal faith, one participant said, “I am abstinent because I know that God loves me. The most commonly reported factors that impacted the pursuit of celibacy were personal faith, one’s view of celibacy, social influences, and interpretation of scripture around marriage and sexuality. Some individuals previously identified as gay, but at the time of the study no longer used that label. Some individuals privately labeled themselves as “gay” to describe their enduring same-sex attractions, but publicly identified as same-sex attracted or allowed others to assume heterosexuality. Two did not use any sexual identity label (gay, same-sex attracted, lesbian), although they reported same-sex sexuality. When it came to the use of labels, participants varied. There was an even split with regard to gender and denomination (Roman Catholic and Protestant participants). We interviewed fourteen participants between the ages of 18 and 60+. Within the study, four research questions were asked: 1) What factors contribute to the decision to choose celibacy for those who do so? 2) Do celibate, gay Christians who commit to celibacy experience loneliness as a result of their decision to forego same-sex sexual relationships? 3) What are the impacts of loneliness for those who report it? 4) What coping skills have celibate, gay Christians used in coping with loneliness and which of these have they found helpful? After asking participants open-ended questions, each case was analyzed individually, by constructing themes based on the consensus of a team including the principal investigator, multiple coders, and an external auditor, according to an analysis process called Consensual Qualitative Research (CQR.) Due to the limited research in this area, open-ended prompts allowed participants to describe their experience more vividly. All participants were adult Christians experiencing same-sex sexuality who made a commitment to celibacy five or more years ago. The aim was to understand the experience of loneliness for Christian sexual minorities who are not involved in sexual relationships. I hope to share some of the findings, which may have relevance to some of the Spiritual Friendship readership. My dissertation, “Loneliness and the Celibate, Gay Christian,” delved into the lives of individuals navigating the intersection of faith and same-sex sexuality, in order to understand their experience of celibacy, loneliness, and coping. Julia recently defended her dissertation, which was a qualitative study of loneliness among celibate gay Christians. This is a guest post by Julia Sadusky, a doctoral candidate in the Doctoral Program in Clinical Psychology at Regent University, where she previously served as the Research Assistant for the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity and completed clinical rotations in the Sexual and Gender Identity Clinic.